There are a number of problems present in our world today, and that is a very large number. However, we can write up a top X list of some of the worst. Some favourites may be:
i) There is too much CO2 going into the air, resulting in increased global warming, melting of the ice caps, asthma, flood and storms, and the destruction of the human species.
ii) By burning petroleum at an increased rate we are depleting our petroluem stocks rabidly. This is resulting in increased atmospheric CO2 (see i) as well as increasing the price of gas. Not only will it be unaffordable to drive a car and huff gasoline, it will also be impractical for industry to create huge amounts of non-biodegradable plastics.
iii) Yadda yadda yadda. Yaddas reproducing in triplicate is a terrible crime, and soon we will all be drowing in useless nothings representative of anythings. A fate worse than life.
At any rate, humanity can be saved easily (although not cheaply). A scheme for this is already available, devised by an insane genius with too much time on his hands (mostly due to poor time management) and too little electro-shock therapy. This scheme has several important parts, subparts, division, curricula, compartments and subtituents. The most important of which will be described below:
Part 1, section iii, division A23bravo: The Source
The majority of the problem rests entirely with petroleum, which is to say, it is entirely underground. Now, a mere literal interpretation of such a statement is likely to cause befuddlement, but an interpretation resulting in comprehension of the intrinsic meaning might be useful at some temporal location. The problem, namly, is that petroleum is the buffer from which we drag our energy. The energy stored in petroleum was dragged forcefully, kicking and screaming, which is why it was buried in the first place -- to dampen the noise, from trees and other plant vegetation. Or at least, that's how the pseudo-scientific untestable and non-predictive theory goes. Right. Now, there is the more scientific and less pseudo theory which is not really predictive but almost testable, which... describes the absorption of stuff called radiation (although it never responds to that name) by those very trees and plant vegetation which I was already discussing. As you know, have three whichs together makes a coven, and it is important to burn whichs, which is the historic process of causing our now-realized mass consumption of petroleum. Note that it is realised in Britain as opposed to North America. This so-called radiation is supplied by the Sun, which we blame entirely for its poor raising and lack of response when called.
Instead of allowing this ill-begotten and poorly behaved radiation to trickle to us through a complex array of pain, burial, and cremation, we can instead harness it directly. Harnesses are best used young, and in fact can be used to train young elephants not to leave, as well as human children in shopping malls. Harnesses, best used young, can be used on new and young radiation directly coming from the sun. Of course, entering the world distinctly ages people, and why should we expect it to be different for anyone else? Thus, we can clearly see how important it is to harness this radiation while it is still flying straight and true outside the world.
For this task I recommend a satel. Of course, in order for a satel to get off the ground, it would have to be very light, so from now on I'll refer to this specific satel as a satellite. This satellite must be able to bring young and wild radiation into order, and as we all know, spanking is the best way to do that. For that reason I recommend large paddles be attached to the satellite capable of slapping the radiation coming from the sun silly. Or at least into a good humour. All that energy is going to be tiring, so we'd best cover the paddles with solar cells so that our good little discipliner doesn't give up.
Of course, once we have harnessed all this radiation, we need to set it to some important, preferably world-saving, task. As well all know, idle hands are the devil's workshop. I don't know when the last time he got into outer space is, but I don't want him doing any woodwork above my head -- he might drop something. So, we could have our radiation do something important like wash all our cars, but we still need to direct its attention somehow. Now, when you shine a laser pointer on the wall or floor, you get the attention and activity of any nearby dog or cat or human. Indeed, many university professors use this to their advantage whenever they run out of things to say. They just point a laser at the wall and wave it back and forth and watch in amusement as all the humans (Professors aren't human, they are android computers with evil intentions and a bent for the cruel) move their heads back and forth following the laser dot. Therefore, the best way to get the radiation to get to work is to shine a big laser pointer at the Earth wherever you want it to go. So, I figure a big laser pointed at the Earth will get all the radiation going to one spot. Of course, you don't want to blow a hole in the Earth or all the water will drain out of the oceans like a big bathtub. By that illogic, we definated need a big dish to catch the laser. Why a dish? Well, we use dishes to hold just about anything, and they prevent splashing, too. Besides, they look so sci-fi.
Well, now that we're catching a huge laser at the Earth, we need to DO something with it. I figure we'll just do what we do with everything else that is useless, and mass produce it for sale. In this case, we'll just claim that it's worth a lot, and sell a piece at a time. Hopefully this would be worthwhile enough that we can make enough money to take over the world, or at least save it.
Not only that, but we can sell pieces of our laser to special plants. Some plants like to eat flies, some like to eat radiation. Hopefully we can convince a really big one to reduce our CO2(g) to C(s). I mean, graphite is really slippery, so we naturally want to make a really big graphite mountain so that we can go skiing. Ironically this will remove a lot of CO2 from our air and save us from certain death.
Of course, with all this energy we'll have we will be able to electrolyze water or reduce Boron in order to run many vehicles without having to burn any petrol. And you know what? That means we can have polymer couches with polymer beerhats and polymer dogs (no feeding!) and polymer people that are always smiling. Three cheers for plastic surgery!
Showing posts with label Nature. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nature. Show all posts
March 21, 2007
Carnivores
Carnivores seem to have a set of contradictory beliefs. By Carnivores I'm referring to people that like meat.... I meant really like meat. Some people like meat so much that it is the only thing they would eat if they could afford it. The only problem with this is that eating only meat is not healthy. Typically, people that eat a lot of meat believe things like:
i) Meat tastes good
ii) It is natural and normal for humans to eat meat
iii) Humans are omnivores, capable of eating virtually anything.
iv) Innards are disgusting, intestines (and their contents) are not meant to be eaten, but the flesh is good to eat.
The only problem with a belief set like this is that it leads to other beliefs which are plain wrong. The problem is that meat does not contain all the nutrients required for health for almost any animal, including humans. If you look at Bears, you will find they are omnivores, and the North American Grizzly Bear, a close "relative" to the Bruin, or European Brown Bear, is very hungry when it comes out of hibernation. What's the first thing that these brutes eat? Grass shoots! Now, I have my own theory that they are restocking their digestive tract with lactobacteria (which are found in huge qunatities on grass, which is why they're so present in milk) so that they can digest properly again after months of not eating, but that's not the point. If you look at a true carnivore, such as a wolf, you will notice that the wolf eats the innards - all of them. That also means the "offal" which includes the intenstines and the contents. That's how wolves get the various things that they need to survive that are not contained in simply the muscle of the animal. Essentially, they piggyback their digestion onto their prey's digestive system.
So next time the carnivore in your family is hungry, recommend a good blood sausage made of out already-full intestines. No doubt they'll be thrilled at the prospect.
i) Meat tastes good
ii) It is natural and normal for humans to eat meat
iii) Humans are omnivores, capable of eating virtually anything.
iv) Innards are disgusting, intestines (and their contents) are not meant to be eaten, but the flesh is good to eat.
The only problem with a belief set like this is that it leads to other beliefs which are plain wrong. The problem is that meat does not contain all the nutrients required for health for almost any animal, including humans. If you look at Bears, you will find they are omnivores, and the North American Grizzly Bear, a close "relative" to the Bruin, or European Brown Bear, is very hungry when it comes out of hibernation. What's the first thing that these brutes eat? Grass shoots! Now, I have my own theory that they are restocking their digestive tract with lactobacteria (which are found in huge qunatities on grass, which is why they're so present in milk) so that they can digest properly again after months of not eating, but that's not the point. If you look at a true carnivore, such as a wolf, you will notice that the wolf eats the innards - all of them. That also means the "offal" which includes the intenstines and the contents. That's how wolves get the various things that they need to survive that are not contained in simply the muscle of the animal. Essentially, they piggyback their digestion onto their prey's digestive system.
So next time the carnivore in your family is hungry, recommend a good blood sausage made of out already-full intestines. No doubt they'll be thrilled at the prospect.
February 13, 2007
Be a Good Dictator
"My research for the past 30 years or so was devoted to examine whether cells have such signal integration and control center(s). The results suggest that mammalian cells, indeed, possess intelligence. "
Guenter Albrecht-Buehler, Ph.D. Fellow, European Academy of Sciences, Brussels Fellow, Institute for Advanced Studies, Berlin Robert Laughlin Rea Professor of Cell Biology Northwestern University Medical School, Chicago
The intelligence of individual cells is fascinating. I haven't read the above doctor's website, but I have heard of interesting experiments. For example, a living heart cell will beat, as can be seen with a microscope. Furthermore, two living heart cells in a petri dish will beat out of rythm with one another, but place them beside each other, and they quickly beat as one. Consider the fact that we are told as early as high school that when you step on a nail, it is not your brain that tells your foot to lift, but your spine. It is explained to us that our spine acts as a mini-brain or mid-body brain for "lesser" functions. Perhaps one of the weirdest anecdotes I've been told is that bacteria placed into a perfect environment, not a perfect growing environment, will actually die because they do not need to struggle to survive. How bizarre.
Suppose for a minute, though, that individual cells are intelligent. That would imply that each of our bodies is an excellent example of a perfect society. Our cells do not rebel, do not mutiny. They each do their task in perfect socialist obedience, like little smurfs.
Of course, if they are indeed intelligent, then perhaps they feel pain, and suffer, or perhaps they have a desire to survive. As a sentient moral agent, are we not responsible for the lives of these cells, devoted to us, subject to our will?
Do the rest of the philosophy on your own....
Be a Good Dictator!
Guenter Albrecht-Buehler, Ph.D. Fellow, European Academy of Sciences, Brussels Fellow, Institute for Advanced Studies, Berlin Robert Laughlin Rea Professor of Cell Biology Northwestern University Medical School, Chicago
The intelligence of individual cells is fascinating. I haven't read the above doctor's website, but I have heard of interesting experiments. For example, a living heart cell will beat, as can be seen with a microscope. Furthermore, two living heart cells in a petri dish will beat out of rythm with one another, but place them beside each other, and they quickly beat as one. Consider the fact that we are told as early as high school that when you step on a nail, it is not your brain that tells your foot to lift, but your spine. It is explained to us that our spine acts as a mini-brain or mid-body brain for "lesser" functions. Perhaps one of the weirdest anecdotes I've been told is that bacteria placed into a perfect environment, not a perfect growing environment, will actually die because they do not need to struggle to survive. How bizarre.
Suppose for a minute, though, that individual cells are intelligent. That would imply that each of our bodies is an excellent example of a perfect society. Our cells do not rebel, do not mutiny. They each do their task in perfect socialist obedience, like little smurfs.
Of course, if they are indeed intelligent, then perhaps they feel pain, and suffer, or perhaps they have a desire to survive. As a sentient moral agent, are we not responsible for the lives of these cells, devoted to us, subject to our will?
Do the rest of the philosophy on your own....
Be a Good Dictator!
How Old are Humans?
Someone recently told me that when humans are kept in isolation from a cyclic light pattern, they develop a 25 hour day pattern on their own. In other words, if they are kept indoors and away from natural light patterns, they still keep a 25 hour day cycle.
So, this causes me to propose a question, or perhaps a thought experiment. First, some additional data: The earth is slowing down in its spin. Surprise, there's a wee bit o' friction in all that space up there. Also, there are three different kinds of "day," the civic, solar, and sidereal day. The civic day is 86,400 SI seconds, or 24 hours exactly. The solar day is the time a planet takes to rotate once with respect to its star. For the Earth, that varies depending on the time of year, and the average is our fabulous 24 hour day. The sidereal day, however, is the amount of time a planet takes to rotate with respect to distant stars. For Earth, this is about 3 minutes and 56 seconds shorter than our normal 24 hour period.
So, let's do a little math, figure out how fast the Earth is slowing down, and then "calculate backwards" to figure out how long it took to slow down from 25 hours per day to our current time of 23 hours, 56 minutes and 4 seconds.
Of course, I'm not actually going to do all that math in my blog. Especially seeing as I'm ill right now. Instead, I'll ask my physics Professor to explain it to me. Perhaps he will also be interested to see the order of time in which our "day" has changed from what our bodies "expect" a day to be.
So, this causes me to propose a question, or perhaps a thought experiment. First, some additional data: The earth is slowing down in its spin. Surprise, there's a wee bit o' friction in all that space up there. Also, there are three different kinds of "day," the civic, solar, and sidereal day. The civic day is 86,400 SI seconds, or 24 hours exactly. The solar day is the time a planet takes to rotate once with respect to its star. For the Earth, that varies depending on the time of year, and the average is our fabulous 24 hour day. The sidereal day, however, is the amount of time a planet takes to rotate with respect to distant stars. For Earth, this is about 3 minutes and 56 seconds shorter than our normal 24 hour period.
So, let's do a little math, figure out how fast the Earth is slowing down, and then "calculate backwards" to figure out how long it took to slow down from 25 hours per day to our current time of 23 hours, 56 minutes and 4 seconds.
Of course, I'm not actually going to do all that math in my blog. Especially seeing as I'm ill right now. Instead, I'll ask my physics Professor to explain it to me. Perhaps he will also be interested to see the order of time in which our "day" has changed from what our bodies "expect" a day to be.
January 24, 2007
December 14, 2006
Ode to Sulphur
Oh Sulphur,
how I love thee,
thou art a lure,
and smelly.
Anyway... what do these "foods" have in common:
Garlic
Leeks
Shallots
Onion
Broccoli
Cauliflower
Cabbage
.
.
.
.
Answer? Sulfur!
Or more techincally, they are foods with relatively high concentrations of organic sulphur containing compounds. Why do we care? Well, we care because we looooove biology! (Admit it, you do, formaldehyde and fetal pigs aside.) I'm sure we've all been told that the human body is approximately 102% water. Well, it is. Sorta. And I'm sure we've all eaten olive oil, sunflower oil, safflower oil, canola oil, or fish oil at some point or another. If you're part cat, it's probably the latter. Furthermore, I'm sure we've all been told that oil and water don't mix! Hah! So what happens to the oil? Well... it goes to /dev/null. But not directly. It actually goes to a big box in the centre of your torso called your fat-box. Biologists like to call it your liver, but they're wrong. In a big sack of water (like you and I), there has to be a box to put all the oil/fat in, and it's called the fat-box. Well, in case you've never noticed, you never urinate oil. (Okay, well, at least *I* never have, so I'm assuming you haven't either) So, where does the oil go when it goes into the fat-box? Well, your fat-box likes it when you eat the above sulphur containing foods, because it rips the sulphur groups off what you eat, adds it to the oils, and voila! They're not really oils anymore because they're water-soluble, polar, and have a sulphur (and probably oxygen) containing group on the end. Then what happens? You urinate (in case you didn't get it last time, that's a fancy word for pee) them out in all that water. And NO, that's not why your urine is yellow.
A Special PostScript for Garlic
Garlic, Onion, Leeks, and so on are a bit more special. Take garlic, for example. If you cook an entire clove of garlic in the oven, and then slice it up, it won't smell at all. The chemistry of garlic is such that a chemical reaction occurs when the cells are burst and the contents freely mix. This causes the strong garlic odour. However, if the garlic is heated before the cells are burst, these reactive compounds are broken down before they meet each other, and thus no resulting smelly compound. The resultant smelly compound is the one that is super good for you, however, so you always want to chop, mince, or crush your garlic before cooking. Likewise with onion, I always chop it finely before cooking it.
Oh yeah, and you'll always smell like what you eat, it just so happens that garlic has a super strong odour and travels through tissues well.
how I love thee,
thou art a lure,
and smelly.
Anyway... what do these "foods" have in common:
Garlic
Leeks
Shallots
Onion
Broccoli
Cauliflower
Cabbage
.
.
.
.
Answer? Sulfur!
Or more techincally, they are foods with relatively high concentrations of organic sulphur containing compounds. Why do we care? Well, we care because we looooove biology! (Admit it, you do, formaldehyde and fetal pigs aside.) I'm sure we've all been told that the human body is approximately 102% water. Well, it is. Sorta. And I'm sure we've all eaten olive oil, sunflower oil, safflower oil, canola oil, or fish oil at some point or another. If you're part cat, it's probably the latter. Furthermore, I'm sure we've all been told that oil and water don't mix! Hah! So what happens to the oil? Well... it goes to /dev/null. But not directly. It actually goes to a big box in the centre of your torso called your fat-box. Biologists like to call it your liver, but they're wrong. In a big sack of water (like you and I), there has to be a box to put all the oil/fat in, and it's called the fat-box. Well, in case you've never noticed, you never urinate oil. (Okay, well, at least *I* never have, so I'm assuming you haven't either) So, where does the oil go when it goes into the fat-box? Well, your fat-box likes it when you eat the above sulphur containing foods, because it rips the sulphur groups off what you eat, adds it to the oils, and voila! They're not really oils anymore because they're water-soluble, polar, and have a sulphur (and probably oxygen) containing group on the end. Then what happens? You urinate (in case you didn't get it last time, that's a fancy word for pee) them out in all that water. And NO, that's not why your urine is yellow.
A Special PostScript for Garlic
Garlic, Onion, Leeks, and so on are a bit more special. Take garlic, for example. If you cook an entire clove of garlic in the oven, and then slice it up, it won't smell at all. The chemistry of garlic is such that a chemical reaction occurs when the cells are burst and the contents freely mix. This causes the strong garlic odour. However, if the garlic is heated before the cells are burst, these reactive compounds are broken down before they meet each other, and thus no resulting smelly compound. The resultant smelly compound is the one that is super good for you, however, so you always want to chop, mince, or crush your garlic before cooking. Likewise with onion, I always chop it finely before cooking it.
Oh yeah, and you'll always smell like what you eat, it just so happens that garlic has a super strong odour and travels through tissues well.
December 10, 2006
Brown Paper
I don't see enough brown paper... all my paper is white. Why is it white? I don't know! I know that some of it is white because I write on it or print on it and want to use many different colours to do so. However, I definately am not interested in writing on facial tissue, bathroom tissue, or paper towel. (Chem lab is excluded from the last.)
So why is all this paper white? This paper makes up the bulk of my paper consumption, as most of my written material is done solely electronically, or perhaps with only the final draft printed.
Paper is definately not white by nature. If I go chop down a tree, it's mostly yellow inside with brown rings. When it is pulped to make paper, it goes that familiar tan colour that newsprint has. So why aren't all these papers used almost exclusively for body-wiping and mess cleanup their natural tan colour?
Certainly there must be some reagent involved in turning tan coloured pulp into white coloured pulp. Certainly we could save tonnes of bleach and tonnes of money by leaving them tan. Not to mention the environment.
Hot in the City, Cool in the Country
It all stems from a discussion I had with my Father. At my home, it was 17-20'C, and in the City, about 41kms away, it was 33'C. Why the drastic difference? Well, altitude plays a part, but I think most people would find it's very small.
Let's take a look, I live in the Country. I'm surrounded by green plants. Trees, Shrubs, and Grass. If you were levitating or on a magic carpet, it would look very green.
On the other hand, if you flew your magic carpet over the city, what would you see? You'd see roads and roofs. Yeah, that's about it.
So there is the key difference. Don't see it?
We get all our Energy from the Sun. If the Sun went out we'd freeze and die. The Energy coming from the Sun is all Radiation. Most of it is blocked by the Atmosphere, at various layers. UVC is just about entirely blocked, UVB is mostly blocked, and UVA is the highest energy-level radiation that gets through consistantly. UV Radiation contains enough energy to break the bond between two Carbon molecules (C-C) which is why it is considered dangerous. That is also why plastic tends to go yellow when left in the sun. It's decomposing.
So, why is this important? Well, in the City, the radiation hits the ground, be it a road or parking lot, and it's usually pavement. The energy gets altered from the various bands of light energy and becomes heat energy. The same thing happens for Roofs, which are usually Asphalt Shingle, Tar and Gravel, or Steel. So all that light energy is hitting the roof and becoming heat. So the City is a hot place. Except for the park, of course, which is cooler.
The reason the park is cooler is the same reason my home is cooler. When the radiation doesn't hit Dirt, Pavement, Tar, or Steel, then it is often hitting Green Stuff (tm). The Trees, Shrubs, and Grass don't disperse the Radiation as heat. They absorb it and use it to grow. So the energy actually becomes stored in the bodies of plants until we chop them down and burn them or what-have-you. So the next time you're walking across a grassy field barefoot and think, "This grass is nice and cool on my feet" or are sitting under an Oak tree and think, "That's a really nice cool breeze." You'll realize that the cool breeze is from the Oak tree breathing on you. Plants need to breathe in direct proportion to the amount of light they absorb. So yes, that Oak Tree is absorbing the light/heat and then exhaling cool air all over you. Don't forget to thank it.
Let's take a look, I live in the Country. I'm surrounded by green plants. Trees, Shrubs, and Grass. If you were levitating or on a magic carpet, it would look very green.
On the other hand, if you flew your magic carpet over the city, what would you see? You'd see roads and roofs. Yeah, that's about it.
So there is the key difference. Don't see it?
We get all our Energy from the Sun. If the Sun went out we'd freeze and die. The Energy coming from the Sun is all Radiation. Most of it is blocked by the Atmosphere, at various layers. UVC is just about entirely blocked, UVB is mostly blocked, and UVA is the highest energy-level radiation that gets through consistantly. UV Radiation contains enough energy to break the bond between two Carbon molecules (C-C) which is why it is considered dangerous. That is also why plastic tends to go yellow when left in the sun. It's decomposing.
So, why is this important? Well, in the City, the radiation hits the ground, be it a road or parking lot, and it's usually pavement. The energy gets altered from the various bands of light energy and becomes heat energy. The same thing happens for Roofs, which are usually Asphalt Shingle, Tar and Gravel, or Steel. So all that light energy is hitting the roof and becoming heat. So the City is a hot place. Except for the park, of course, which is cooler.
The reason the park is cooler is the same reason my home is cooler. When the radiation doesn't hit Dirt, Pavement, Tar, or Steel, then it is often hitting Green Stuff (tm). The Trees, Shrubs, and Grass don't disperse the Radiation as heat. They absorb it and use it to grow. So the energy actually becomes stored in the bodies of plants until we chop them down and burn them or what-have-you. So the next time you're walking across a grassy field barefoot and think, "This grass is nice and cool on my feet" or are sitting under an Oak tree and think, "That's a really nice cool breeze." You'll realize that the cool breeze is from the Oak tree breathing on you. Plants need to breathe in direct proportion to the amount of light they absorb. So yes, that Oak Tree is absorbing the light/heat and then exhaling cool air all over you. Don't forget to thank it.